you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Let's get the cat blown out
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize