That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
