Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She even gives head with a lisp.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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