I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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