Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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