Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
