some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize