My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
