He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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