So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
