One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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