I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
