You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
