Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
