i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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