I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
