so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
