I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
