I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you would pick up someone in the library
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize