I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
