girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
third nipple confirmed
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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