you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
