hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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