you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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