apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
