No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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