I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize