He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
