If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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