Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
