Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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