I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Pants are for mortals
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
