i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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