did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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