i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
