White coat. Heels.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
