I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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