That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
His nipple licking is glorious
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