You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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