She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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