For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
