You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
