Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
