Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
