i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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