Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Your dad touched me again.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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