Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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