oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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