I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
