i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
