Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
