Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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