i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
