We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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