4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
