You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She's like a pop up book from hell.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
