We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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