do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
