He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
