Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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