I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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