you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
