and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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