i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
