Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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