Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Enjoy the penises
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
